


If "I love you" was a promise

by orphan_account



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Author Is Sleep Deprived, Canon Compliant, Crying, First Kiss, Gen, I'm Sorry, Idols, Last Kiss, Leaving Home, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Minor Bang Chan/Kim Woojin, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Sad, Sad Ending, The Author Regrets Nothing, Unrequited Love, What happened when Woojin left
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-10
Updated: 2019-11-10
Packaged: 2021-01-27 05:24:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,468
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21386824
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: When Woojin left stray kids, nobody knew why.This is my take on what happened.
Kudos: 39





	If "I love you" was a promise

**Author's Note:**

> I was devastated when I found out that woojin left stray kids.  
This is my take on what happened. 
> 
> The work title is from the song idontwannabeyouanymore from Billie Eilish.  
Check it out!
> 
> \---------EDIT----------  
I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD I HOPE THAT WOOJIN DIDN'T DO WHAT THE RUMORS SAY OTHERWISE I'M GONNA FLY TO KOREA AND BEAT HIS ASS, ALSO I DON'T SUPPORT BULLYING, SEXUAL HARASSMENT AND OR PHYSICAL ABUSE. 
> 
> have fun reading tho, didn't wanna delete the story but woojin is cancelled.

As soon as stray kids debuted, woojin was tempted to leave the idol industry again.

Don't get him wrong - he loved performing and his other members and singing and dancing - but he wasn't made to live in the public eye.  
So eventually, when things started to get busier and busier, when their band got more and more popular, woojin was more and more unhappy with his live.

When he was dancing with his members, who had gotten as close as brothers at this point, he never felt like he was doing well - or enough.  
But the boy was at his breaking point.

He stopped eating. He stopped having fun.

After a few weeks he was just a shell of the Kim Woojin the world knew.  
His cheeks were shallow, his eyes had large bags underneath and his motivation was basically non existent.  
But he tried to carry on. To make his members proud. 

Meanwhile, his friends caught on that something was wrong with their hyung. Their woojin.  
However, everytime someone tried to talk to him, he would just block their attempts to make him feel better.  
"I just haven't slept much last night"  
"I'm sorry, I have to call my family now"  
"I'm sorry, i have to train" 

When it was too much to carry anymore, Woojin went to Chan.  
Even tho many fans thought they were in a romantic relationship, Chan and Woojin had only friendly feelings for each other. Nothing more.  
At least in Chan's side of the story. 

The eldest member of stray kids on the other hand had not so platonic feelings for their leader.  
He secrecy harbored a crush on the younger since... Well, since basically ever. 

But the man, or better, the boy, who's life turned unhappy, was fully convinced that his crush wasn't returned. So he never talked to Chan about love or kissed him even. 

But on this pertivular day - it was one of their few free days before their comeback - Woojin came into the common room of their dorm and asked Chan to come with him.  
Latter felt the mood his hyung was in and promptly turned serious as soon as they left the other members.  
"What's the matter hyung?" asked the young Australian. 

Woojin said nothing as tears came into his eyes.  
Chan was fully panicking by now. He never saw the eldest member like this. He looked so broken. 

Woojin tried to talk to Chan, but no words came out of his mouth. He just kept stuttering the words "I can't" over and over, until the younger hugged him and managed to calm his hyung at least a little bit down. 

"you can't do what hyung? Can you tell me? I won't judge you, you know, I love you, woojinnie-hyung. What's the matter?" 

The crying one jszt let out a dry laugh and the sobs in his arms turned louder.  
"I can't do this anymore" Woojin cried. "I just can't. It's too much" 

"what's too much hyung? Is somebody hurting you? What's wrong? Please tell me. You're killing me here." 

After a few minutes, when the cries quieted down, woojin explained to Chan what was wrong.  
The other was just devasted when he heard how bad his friend was feeling. And extremely sad that he didn't notice the doubts his hyung had about their life. 

The Australian just sat there and said nothing. He didn't know what to say so he just stayed quiet while he still hugged his friend.  
Whom he secretly wished to be more than a friend.  
But nobody knew that. 

Woojin spoke again. At first Chan didn't even recognize the words the elder formed with his mouth.  
He asked him to repeat it. 

"...... I'm going to leave stray kids." 

"Can you repeat that? It sounded a lot like 'I'm going to leave stray kids', but that's wrong, right hyung? It's just my silly ear playing with my mid again, isn't it?" 

Woojin just sighs. Then he whispered, so that Chan almost didn't understand it again.  
But the young heard what he said.  
It was "that's exactly what I was saying, Chan."

Chans reaction was the following:  
At first he opened his mouth like he was trying to say something. Then he closed it again. And tears filled his eyes.  
He tried to deny it, tried to blame it on his ears again, but his sub-consciousness knew what his bandmate had said. 

"it's final, Chan. I already spoke to JYP about it. I'm still going to release double knot with you, but afterwards I will leave.  
..... I will tell the others tomorrow. But I wanted you to know first. Please forgive me, Chan-ah. I'm not made for this life. I love you and all the other members, I love singing and dancing, but I'm not made for this public life everyone expects us to have. I don't want people to know everything about me. I want privacy. And I want to do what I want, not what a entertainment company wants."

At this point, Chan cried more than Woojin.  
"I understand you hyung, but please, PLEASE ovetthink this decision again. I don't know what I would do without you. You're my rock, Woojin. My soul. My inspiration. My everything. Please. Please don't leave me. Don't leave us" 

The two just sat there, crying. And both knew that this would most likely be that last time they would be able to do something like this. If Woojin really left, the others wouldn't have much time to meet him, because of their busy schedules, and the eldest would most likely leave Seoul and go somewhere else in Korea. 

What they didn't know was that outside of the door anozher boy sat on the floor, also crying.  
The younger Australian heard everything the two spoke about. He didn't mean to eavesdrop, but he couldn't resist.  
In the end, Felix wishes that he wouldn't have listened. 

When Jeongin walked by, he yiuldnt believe his eyes. He saw Felix, the one who was always happy, crying on the floor and heard multiple sobs out of the room behind his hyung. Immediately he called hsi other members. Those rushed to their deep voiced aussie and tried everything in their power to calm him down. But he kept on crying.  
That was when they noticed the cires out of the room behind Felix.  
Jisung opened the door.  
Nobody could have prepared them for what they saw.  
Their leader. Crying. In woojins arms. Who was also crying.  
Nobody knew what to do. So they just sat down next to the crying members and waited until one of them stopped crying.  
In the end, the one who's sobs quieted down was Woojin.

He was also the one who explained why everyone was crying.  
At first Woojin was a little bit dumbfounded, because he didn't realize Felix was in front of their door, but he carried on his explanation anyways.

Few minutes later the entire band was crying and hugging woojin.  
Nobody could get a grasp on what their hyung was saying.

Timeskip: 5 days after double knot was released.

Woojin packed the last his clothes in his bag and carried her to the front door.  
Then he returned to his former room and turned around.  
There were so many memories. Happy memories. Sad ones. And the ones with feels he couldn't identify.

After a few moments of nostalgia he turned to the door and left the rooms. The former eldest member of Stray kids went around the dorm one last time, smelled the sweet mix of sweat and other things that layed everywhere around the flat and sat one last time on their couch.

Everything was so quiet.

When he got to his last station, the front door, the others waited there for him.

He hugged everyone one last time.  
They promised each other that they would stay in contact, but every member knew that this was just a empty promise. Soon they would be too busy to do anything.

Lastly Woojin went to his secret crush. Chan.  
He revived every moment he had with the younger again. Let the happy and the sad moments pass revue.  
His and chans hug lasted the longest.  
After they stopped their embrace Woojin took all his confidence together and kissed his Chan.  
On the lips.

And Chan kissed back.  
They both started crying.

Then, Woojin took all his luggage and left the dorm. Left his previous life.  
And was ready to begin a new chapter of his life and leave everything he knew behind. 

Woojin closed the door.  
HI didn't hear the others fall apart behind him.  
He didn't hear Chans cries.  
He just heard the sound of his steps into a new chapter of his life.

Hopefully it would be better than the last one.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm suddenly getting creative writing bursts. Idk why.  
Did you like it?  
I appreciate every kudos and comment you leave :) live ya


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